White coat. Heels.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
