I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
