u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize