Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize