with your own penis?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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