you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
