My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
