Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
