I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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