spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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