White coat. Heels.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
