And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
