Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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