You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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