He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
