I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
