Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
