OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
