I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
