Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize