Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
