none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize