careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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