Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
