Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
