he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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