She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
