she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
