I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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