Its about making memories worth repressing
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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