the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
