Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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