You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
