He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
