dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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