Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
