weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
