I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
