she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
