First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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