Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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