my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
