Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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