it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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