So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
