Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
