how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.