My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm