just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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