shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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