he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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