69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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