Welp...herpes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
