Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
