I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You've changed since you got that strap on
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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