well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
