what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
