so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im six kinds of drunk right now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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