So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
