The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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