And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
