You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
