Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We are all done wearing pants today
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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