he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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