are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
